I don’t have friends, I have family

“I don’t have friends… I have family”

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When Dom Toretto said that in the Fast and Furious series I didn’t think much of it. It was just a line in a movie, but as the time draws closer to having to say goodbye to my beloved Poms as they set off to travel that line isn’t just a line in a movie script, it holds a lot of meaning.

Over the years I have been blessed with the people in my life. I cherish the people around me more than they will ever know, and sometimes I don’t get the same in return, which makes me at some point evaluate my need for that person in my life. Growing up I was quite shy when it came to meeting new people and I didn’t have a whole lot of friends. I was always that awkward kid who loved Harry Potter in primary school, running around with her best friend waving sticks and exploring ‘The Whomping Willow”, and when it came to high school I came to realise as you get to those awkward teenage years, being awkward and weird doesn’t get you invited to all the parties, and there will be classes that you will sit there silently the whole year because you don’t easily converse with others. But it wasn’t like that bothered me at all. I had my friend group that consisted of a few people whom I loved dearly.

It’s not about quantity, it’s about QUALITY

In high school a lot of people were determined to be everyones friend. When I moved high schools in year nine I noticed that where my old school was divided into these different clicks, my new school everyone knew everyone. There were the little clicks, but everyone was at that age where they can move around and hang out with different people from day to day. I remained pretty tight within my small group of friends at first but gradually began to realise, even though I cherish my friendships so much and like to keep them close, doesn’t mean I can’t meet new people and be comfortable in school. I talked to a lot of people at school, and in a way they became friends, but I knew they were ‘forever’ friendships.

Since leaving high school and entering the world of adulthood my aim isn’t to go out and be friends with everyone, add them on Facebook and show the world i’m ‘popular’ with the people, no. My goal is to find those people that I want to spend my life with, and in return want to be a part of my life just as much. I’ve had a lot of friends I thought would be in my life a lot longer than they were and I feel like it was because I trust people to much, and hold on to tightly. I have many friends in my life at the moment, but I have very few family, and I like it like that because it means so much more.

In November last year I saw a Facebook post from my old head chef asking if anyone knew of any chef jobs going for two backpackers. I replied quickly, as I didn’t want to miss my chance at finding new staff for our understaffed kitchen. With a few messages back and forth I met Phil and Sam, two English lads, ew to Melbourne. I assisted them with a place to live and before I knew it a few weeks passed and I felt like I knew them for years. It’s a magical moment when you meet people that you click with straight away. It was the same when their friends Kayli, Marcus, Zac and Beth moved in, I knew straight away I had found something special. So over the last few months I have spent so much tiime with them because I realised they aren’t just my friends, they were family, which saddens me as I prepare myself to say goodbye in a couple of weeks as they are off travelling and doing their farm work and whatnot. But… they gave me something special that I will cherish… willpower and strength.

So as I watch them make plans to see Australia I thought to myself, what is holding me here and why aren’t I out there living the life I want to live. One night, after a big fight between me and Sam, we hugged it out and had a D&M on the couch until 4am. Sam, being as wise as he is, made me realise something. I always talk about travel, dream about travel but never travel.

“When you are 78 and on your deathbed will you be able to say, I’m happy with the life I lived. Rach, don’t make decisions on the bases of keeping other people happy. All that matters is you”

I am someone who wants to make people happy and will say yes to anything. I hold myself back on what I want to do because I don’t want to upset people who have given me opportunities or people that I care about, but it needs to stop, otherwise I will be living someone else’s life.

It’s people who care enough to make you see these things the most important people in your life. Sure I have my blood family, which only a handful remain close to me, but for me family is what you make it, the most special people that come into your life and make a change for the better. Where you care for them just as much as they care for you.

Family is everything

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